Never a Sacrifice
by HufflepuffBanana
Summary: When Voldemort chooses Neville and kills the boy, Lily Potter decides she’s had enough of this war. She, James, and Harry flee to America. But James liked Godric’s Hollow better, and escapes back to Britain in search of a life he wants. And he’s shocked by what he finds. AU
1. Voldemort Kills

**Title:** Never a Sacrifice

 **Summary:** When Voldemort chooses Neville and kills the boy, Lily Potter decides she's had enough of this war. She, James, and Harry flee to America. But James liked Godric's Hollow better, and escapes back to Britain in search of a life he wants. And he's shocked by what he finds. AU

 **Warnings:** Language, violence, het _and_ slash _and_ a bit of femslash, heavy angst at times.

 **Notes:** Let me just get this out of the way: I do _not_ ship Remus/Lily _or_ James/Tonks. But I ship Ronks and Jily with all my heart, so I decided to switch the pairings up a bit. Who knows, I might ship all four aforementioned pairings by the time I finish this fanfic. Pansexual James, genderfluid Tonks, bisexual Sirius. Don't like, don't read.

Feel free to review/comment. Enjoy!

 **Chapter One: Voldemort Kills**

 _November 1, 1981_

 **HE-WHO-MUST-NOT-BE-NAMED KILLS LONGBOTTOM FAMILY**

By: Zoe Lynam

Last night, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named—known by only the bravest as Lord Voldemort—approached the Longbottom residence and killed Frank, Alice, and Neville Longbottom. Baby Neville, only one year old, was He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named's interpreted subject of a prophecy foretelling the Dark wizard's downfall.

The full contents of the prophecy in question are unknown. Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster of Hogwarts and the only known person to have heard the full contents of the prophecy, was unavailable for question.

* * *

James sighed and ran his hands through his hair. It was a short article, but sometimes that was best.

Voldemort had killed the Longbottoms. James remembered working with them, in the Order. Frank had even been one of James' roommates at Hogwarts. And now Voldemort had killed them.

He had even killed a _baby_. Not that James believed Voldemort was above that. He had once killed three five-year-olds because their parents had refused to join the Death Eaters. But a _baby_. A _one-year-old boy._

"You know what this means, right?" Lily said from behind him.

He turned around and faced her. "What do you mean?"

"We have to leave Britain."

" _Excuse me_?"

"To escape the war. For our safety. For _Harry's_ safety."

"Godric's Hollow is perfectly safe. We work for the Order. Sirius and I are fully-trained Aurors. Pettigrew may have joined the Death Eaters, but he isn't Secret Keeper. So unless Sirius suddenly turns Dark and betrays us to Voldemort, _we are safe_."

"James, we both know that prophecy could have been referring to Harry. Now that the other possibility is dead, what if Voldemort realizes it? What if he comes hunting us? Yes, I _know_ that Godric's Hollow is safe. Yes, I _know_ that the chances of Sirius betraying us to Voldemort are slim. But what if, James? What if Peter breaks past the Fidelius Charm? I know it's unlikely, but _what if_?"

"Lily—"

"James, listen to me. We need to leave. For our safety. For _Harry's_ safety. He'll grow up a normal boy in America—"

" _America_? You want us to move _overseas_? Lily, I've heard a lot of ridiculous things—many of them from me—but that has got to be the _most_ ridiculous thing I've ever heard."

"Do you not _care_ about Harry's safety? Would you rather Voldemort come up and knock on our door, planning to kill him?"

This wasn't fair. She was questioning his love for her, for Harry. She knew that got to him.

He sighed, and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Fine. Fine, we'll move to America." He looked up. "But don't think I want this. This wasn't my idea. Britain is my home, always will be. I grew up here. I'm not moving because I want to. I'm moving because I love you, and I love Harry."

"That's enough for me."

* * *

 _August 17, 1984_

"Andromeda says that Dora's starting Hogwarts this September."

"Hmm." Lily didn't turn to face her husband; her eyes never wavered from Harry.

"You just don't want to think about Britain, " said James, not sure whether or not the statement was meant as an accusation.

"I don't mind thinking about Britain."

"Lily…"

She turned around, Harry watching with interest from behind her. "James, I know you miss Britain. I know you want to go back." James opened his mouth to speak, but Lily cut across him. "I _know_ you've never said it aloud. But we've been married since we were eighteen. I know what you're thinking. I know you miss Britain. I know you want to return. I know you miss our friends, but they still visit—"

"Sirius visits," James corrected. "Remus only writes."

"He visited once."

"Only once."

"At least Sirius visits. Harry should know his godfather."

"Siri!" Harry said happily, when he heard his godfather's name. James smiled. His son seemed to be the only person who could make him smile, these days. The four-year-old was special.

"He should also know his father and godfather's best friend."

"Remus doesn't have to come if he doesn't want to. We've invited him, yes, but he says he doesn't think that Harry would be interested in knowing and being friends with a werewolf."

"Harry knows that Remus is a werewolf."

"Yes, but he doesn't understand that in its entirety. Remus thinks that when he does, he'll shun Remus like the rest of society. He doesn't want Harry to choose that path."

"Harry's smart for his age. I'm sure he understands what being a werewolf means."

"We can't be _certain_ what Harry understands. Remus was the one who convinced me to move to America, you know."

"So it's Remus' fault we're here."

"Not necessarily. I'm sure I would have thought of it on my own at some point, just not as soon."

James sighed. "I want to go back."

"I know," said Lily, smiling sympathetically. "But we're safe here. Voldemort can't chase us, you're an Auror for MACUSA, Harry can go to Ilvermorny when he turns eleven…"

"We were safe in Godric's Hollow, Voldemort can chase us, I'm only an Auror because you made me join MACUSA, and Harry's British at heart."

"You just want to go back. If you go back and end up dying, I won't be able to help but think it's my fault."

"What, for respecting my free will?"

"For letting you go back to a place of danger."

"The danger goes farther than England, Lily. There were records only a week or two ago of Voldemort killing a family of eight in Brazil."

She sighed. "We're safer here."

* * *

James thought.

He spent a lot of time thinking. Thinking about Britain. About safety.

Why did Lily think that America was safer than Britain? Nowhere was safe anymore. The war had originated in Britain but had spread to every corner of the world. No place was safer than another.

Did Lily know that? Was she trying to fool herself? Or James, or Harry? Or did she not know? Did she _really_ think that America was safer?

James didn't know.

But what he did know was that he was going to return to Britain. He didn't really care whether or not Lily wanted him to leave.

He had to leave. He had to go back. Britain was his home.


	2. Runaway

Here's a bit of a warning: Chapter Four, which will be number five (due to the FF numbering system), will be an _extremely_ long chapter. It covers five years, and then there's an Interlude after it that covers those same five years. The chapter will skip over time occasionally; and the interlude will cover any letters, _Daily Prophe_ t or _Lumos News_ articles, or legal documents that are delivered/distributed over those five years.

I ramble too much. Here's the chapter.

 **Chapter Two: Runaway**

 _August 24, 1984_

James thought.

He had to leave. He had to return to Britain. He didn't care how dangerous it was. He wouldn't bring Harry along with him; the boy _was_ , actually, safer here, where Lily had the wards up around the house, instead of...wherever James would be staying.

He didn't know whether or not he would Apparate. It was likely, but he could also buy some sort of Muggle plane ticket. _Then again, I know enough about Muggle transportation to know that bags you take on a plane have weight limits. I can put an Undetectable Extention Charm on a suitcase and Apparate; it'll be fine._

But then there was the problem of where he would be saying. He could live with Sirius, or Remus, but he wasn't sure if either of them would let him. They would likely yell at him for leaving, and force him to go back to America. Which James wasn't going to do. It wasn't lack of love for Lily and Harry or anything. Britain was his home. Always had been, always would be. It wasn't something Lily could change. She couldn't convince him to stay. _No one can. I'm going back to Britain. I don't care what anyone says or does to make me stay here. I'm not staying._

* * *

 _August 25, 1984_

James cast the Undetectable Extention Charm on his suitcase. He wasn't yet sure what he would pack, but he had to do it and he had to do it quickly. Lily had taken Harry to the Muggle library in the next town over, so James had time. The only problem was, he didn't know _how much_ time.

He crossed the bedroom to his dresser, and packed every article of clothing he owned, as well as his three pairs of shoes—sandals, sneakers, and dress shoes.

James then entered the adjoining bathroom and grabbed his toothbrush and toothpaste, hastily tossing them into his suitcase.

He slipped the photo of the Marauders—he had cut Peter out of the picture—into the pocket of his jeans. He stopped to think, asking himself if he should leave a note, so Lily would know where he went. _No. Let her wonder. It was her choice to come here, she can only blame herself._

No. Wait. He couldn't blame Lily.

 _But it's her fault I have to leave._

He couldn't blame Lily.

 _But she made me come here against my free will._

He couldn't blame Lily.

 _But—_

 _No._

And he left it at that.

* * *

James hesitated at the edge of the wards. No. He couldn't hesitate, not now. He had already made his decision. He checked his suitcase. It was the fourth time he had done so. Once in the bedroom, once at the stairs, once at the door, and then now.

 _Stop stalling and get on with it, James._

He nodded to himself and stepped out of the wards, walking for a bit before he Apparated.

There was an alley on Charing Cross Road that he was thinking of. He could cast a Shrinking Charm on his suitcase and go to Diagon Alley to buy sets of _Daily Prophet_ articles from the past three years. He first had to take some money out of his Gringotts vault, of course—overseas withdrawals weren't illegal, so he had kept his money in Gringotts—but then he would go to the Daily Prophet News Headquarters, the newspaper's main headquarters.

He needed to know what had been going on since he and Lily and Harry had left. He needed to know what Voldemort was up to. Well, what the press knew Voldemort was up to. No one could be too sure anymore. Remus had mentioned in his letters that the Order of the Phoenix was still together, but even the Order didn't know everything. And it was led by the most powerful wizard of the age. The most powerful Light Lord since Tybalt Appolonis in 1638.

James entered The Leaky Cauldron and walked to the back, tapping his wand on the correct bricks. The wall reconfigured to let him through, the bricks shifting back into place when he was in Diagon Alley proper. He immediately headed for Gringotts, and withdrew some money from his vault.

Then he went to the Daily Prophet News Headquarters.

"Hello," said the worker at the front of the shop.

James nodded his greeting. "I'm here for newspaper sets from 1982, 1983, and 1984. How much would that cost?"

The woman paused for a moment to think, before she replied, "Three Galleons, six Sickles."

James nodded again—this time in satisfaction, of course, not greeting. "Thank you."

He sat outside Florean Fortescue's, reading the headlines.

January 18, 1982

 **HE-WHO-MUST-NOT-BE-NAMED KILLS LUCAS AND JAMIE APPOLONIS**

January 31, 1982

 **HE-WHO-MUST-NOT-BE-NAMED KILLS ALEXANDER GRIFFINSNEST**

March 3, 1982

 **HE-WHO-MUST-NOT-BE-NAMED KILLS MUGGLE FAMILY OF SIX**

March 27, 1982

 **HE-WHO-MUST-NOT-BE-NAMED KILLS WILLIAM, CALVIN, AND OLIVER ARCUS**

July 2, 1982

 **HE-WHO-MUST-NOT-BE-NAMED KILLS LUKE ARCUS**

July 19, 1982

 **HE-WHO-MUST-NOT-BE-NAMED KILLS SEAMUS GRIFFINSNEST**

August 17, 1982

 **HE-WHO-MUST-NOT-BE-NAMED KILLS MUGGLE FAMILY OF SEVEN**

October 29, 1982

 **HE-WHO-MUST-NOT-BE-NAMED ATTACKS GRINGOTTS WIZARDING BANK, FIGHTS SEVEN HUMAN WORKERS, KILLS THREE**

October 30, 1982

 **HE-WHO-MUST-NOT-BE-NAMED KILLS NED AND ROSE HOPPER**

November 18, 1982

 **HE-WHO-MUST-NOT-BE-NAMED KILLS JASON, SOPHIA, AND OLLIE GREENE**

December 4, 1982

 **HE-WHO-MUST-NOT-BE-NAMED KILLS EDWARD AND ISABELLE PORTER**

December 16, 1982

 **HE-WHO-MUST-NOT-BE-NAMED KILLS ALAN, KEATON, AND JAMES HOLMES**

December 21, 1982

 **HE-WHO-MUST-NOT-BE-NAMED KILLS OMAR CAIN AND NORMAN RAY**

December 31, 1982

 **HE-WHO-MUST-NOT-BE-NAMED KILLS TERRI AND ALEX MOLINA**

February 7, 1983

 **HE-WHO-MUST-NOT-BE-NAMED KILLS SOPHIA AND DOUG BOWEN**

February 26, 1983

 **HE-WHO-MUST-NOT-BE-NAMED KILLS DYLAN AND NORMA PHELPS**

March 15, 1983

 **HE-WHO-MUST-NOT-BE-NAMED KILLS DWIGHT AND VIOLET GLENN**

May 1, 1983

 **HE-WHO-MUST-NOT-BE-NAMED KILLS KELVIN, BRYNN, AND AMANDA ELLIS**

May 16, 1983

 **HE-WHO-MUST-NOT-BE-NAMED KILLS MUGGLE FAMILY OF FOUR**

June 6, 1983

 **HE-WHO-MUST-NOT-BE-NAMED KILLS EVAN AND HOLLY MORAN, LUKAS MALONE**

July 15, 1983

 **HE-WHO-MUST-NOT-BE-NAMED ATTACKS GRINGOTTS WIZARDING BANK FOR SECOND TIME, DUELS EIGHTEEN HUMAN WORKERS, KILLS TEN**

July 24, 1983

 **HE-WHO-MUST-NOT-BE-NAMED KILLS LUCY AND CAYDEN DANIEL, CONNOR LUCAS, CLYDE AND SOPHIE MARTINS**

September 8, 1983

 **HE-WHO-MUST-NOT-BE-NAMED KILLS TEAGAN, MAGGIE, AND STACEY JAMES**

September 27, 1983

 **HE-WHO-MUST-NOT-BE-NAMED KILLS LUCA PARKER, OSCAR BOYER, AND MIA CLARKE**

October 31, 1983

 **HE-WHO-MUST-NOT-BE-NAMED KILLS SARAH GAINES AND DIANE KOCH**

December 18, 1983

 **HE-WHO-MUST-NOT-BE-NAMED KILLS ELAINE BAILEY, SANDY AND CONOR LOPEZ, HALLEY MARCUS, DECLAN COMBS, NINA AND SHAWN PRICE**

December 25, 1983

 **HE-WHO-MUST-NOT-BE-NAMED ATTACKS ST. MUNGO'S HOSPITAL FOR MAGICAL MALADIES AND INJURIES, KILLS TWENTY-FOUR PATIENTS AND EIGHTEEN WORKERS**

January 1, 1984

 **HE-WHO-MUST-NOT-BE-NAMED ATTACKS ST. MUNGO'S HOSPITAL FOR MAGICAL MALADIES AND INJURIES, KILLS THIRTEEN PATIENTS AND SEVEN WORKERS**

January 18, 1984

 **HE-WHO-MUST-NOT-BE-NAMED KILLS WILLOW AND JORGE PARKER**

January 30, 1984

 **HE-WHO-MUST-NOT-BE-NAMED KILLS MUGGLE FAMILY OF FIVE**

April 22, 1984

 **HE-WHO-MUST-NOT-BE-NAMED ATTACKS ST. MUNGO'S HOSPITAL FOR MAGICAL MALADIES AND INJURIES FOR THIRD TIME, KILLS TWENTY-EIGHT PATIENTS AND TWENTY-ONE WORKERS**

May 8, 1984

 **HE-WHO-MUST-NOT-BE-NAMED KILLS IAN HEATH AND LYALL LUPIN**

May 27, 1984

 **HE-WHO-MUST-NOT-BE-NAMED KILLS FOURTEEN MUGGLES AND WIZARD BRYAN HEATH**

June 28, 1984

 **HE-WHO-MUST-NOT-BE-NAMED KILS RYLIE, FELIX, AND LILA HALE**

July 5, 1984

 **HE-WHO-MUST-NOT-BE-NAMED KILLS BRAD ROY AND ALAN CLARKE**

July 13, 1984

 **HE-WHO-MUST-NOT-BE-NAMED KILLS DIRK RAY AND OLIVE MEYER**

August 19, 1984

 **HE-WHO-MUST-NOT-BE-NAMED KILLS LOGAN, RONALD, AND JAYDEN DUNN**

James ran his hands through his hair and sighed. Of _course_ Voldemort would attack St. Mungo's on Christmas, of _course_ Voldemort would attack there on New Years, of _course_ Voldemort would attack there on Easter.

There were so many deaths. _Remus' father one of them,_ James thought. _I'll offer my condolences as soon as I see him. But I need a place to stay, first._ He knew that neither Sirius nor Remus would let him live with them. They would make him return to America.

Then it hit him. Andromeda. She and James and Lily were close. Andromeda had even come to personally congratulate them on their engagement—back when he and Lily were eighteen and straight out of Hogwarts. James didn't know how Andromeda would react. There was a chance she would make him return to America, as James knew Sirius and Remus would do, if he went to either of them. But there was also a chance that she would let him stay with her.

James stuffed the newspaper sets into his suitcase and Disapparated.

He appeared in front of the Tonks estate, then approached the door and knocked. As he had hoped, Andromeda was the one to answer. She looked surprised to see him.

"James."

He nodded. "Andromeda."

"I thought you and Lily and Harry moved to America."

"We did, but it was Lily's idea. I never wanted to move. I never wanted to leave Britain. The only reason she managed to convince me to move was that she started questioning my love for her, my love for Harry. It was unfair, she knew that gets to me. I was wondering if I could stay here."

"What about Sirius or Remus?"

"I have a pretty good idea of how they'd react. I have no doubt that they'd yell at me to go back to America, to go back to Lily and Harry. I know they're my family, but Britain is my home."

"You can stay here if you want. Just put your things in the spare bedroom."

He nodded again. "Thanks."


	3. Interlude: To James, From Lily

Hi everyone. Yes, I _know_ that this is the second time I've posted this interlude. But I had written the original versions of these two letters in my notebook, and I didn't have my notebook with me when I originally posted this.

Here's the interlude.

 **Interlude: To James, From Lily**

 _August 25, 1984_

 _Dear James:_

Where are you? Harry and I came home to find you gone and your dresser empty. Harry was crying he was so scared, and you know that he rarely ever cries anymore.

He thinks that Voldemort took you, and though I've tried to convince him otherwise—if Voldemort had taken you, why would your dresser be empty?—but he won't let go of the idea.

You didn't leave a note—at least, not any note that I've found.

Please, just tell me where you are. Harry and I were both scared, and I want to comfort him, with the truth.

Love,

 _Lily_

* * *

 _August 27, 1984_

 _Dear Lily:_

I'm sorry that you and Harry were scared when you saw that I was gone, but I do not regret leaving.

I've returned to Britain.

Don't ask me why—you know why. Britain is my home. I never wanted to move to America. You never asked for my opinion about moving to America; you just made the decision without consulting me and sort of sprung it on me last minute.

I never wanted to move to America. I wanted to stay in Godric's Hollow. Maybe if you'd asked me before deciding to move to America, you could have convinced me, and we wouldn't be here now.

I'm not trying to cast blame. It's as much my fault as it is yours. You never asked my opinion, I never managed to get over that.

Please, don't start questioning my love for you and Harry. It was unfair of you to do so when we had that argument about moving to America. You know that that gets to me, and that's the only reason I agreed. You know that, too.

I'm staying with Andromeda, if you or Harry want to visit. But not yet, I can't see you yet. I'm not ready. I'll tell you when I am.

Love,

 _James_


End file.
